Humour // Browsing posts in Humour
New Yorker: Canada Tightens Border
Lifted the following from the New Yorker: October 9, 2012 POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ OTTAWA (The Borowitz Report)—Canada announced today that it was tightening security along its border with the United States amid concerns that there could be a mass migration of illegal Americans after Tuesday, November 6th. According to Randolph McTavish, Deputy Commissioner of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, ...
[Humour] Shit Asian Moms say…
![[Humour] Shit Asian Moms say…](http://www.uglychinesecanadian.com/wp-content/themes/parallelus-unite2/includes/timthumb.php?src=/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/sams.jpg&w=556&h=133&zc=1)
Couldn’t resist. Just had to post this! Even us bananas know this parody on Asian Moms is true! arf arf!
[Humour] Italian bread!
![[Humour] Italian bread!](http://www.uglychinesecanadian.com/wp-content/themes/parallelus-unite2/includes/timthumb.php?src=/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/pervert.jpg&w=556&h=133&zc=1)
Apparently, some of our readers enjoy a racy joke or two. Here’s one that has nothing to do with Canadians nor with Chinese, but it’s dirty, like the politicians we have running our country. … *Hey* we warned you! … Old guys and italian bread . Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on ...
“Funny as Fuck” Map of Vancouver tells it like it is
New map divides Vancouver into such categories as poor people, gay guys, and old people from the Georgia Straight… by Mike Usinger Are you so politically correct that you find the Onion and all that it stands for riotously offensive? If so, now is the time to stop reading the city’s latest breakdown of who lives where in Lotusland. ...
oLd tiMer’s SoLuTion for FiXin’ cAnaDa, eh?
Dear Mr. Prime Minister Harper, How are you these days, eh? We old timers got some wisdom to offer. Please find below our suggestion for fixing the CANADIAN economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement ...
[Humour] Passing the test? …
![[Humour] Passing the test? …](http://www.uglychinesecanadian.com/wp-content/themes/parallelus-unite2/includes/timthumb.php?src=/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/gameover.jpg&w=556&h=133&zc=1)
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year. So we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me. I always ...
An Immigrant birdfeeder Analogy?
In response to our earlier post, “Fraser Institute + Immigrants = unhappy Campers“, we received the following comment from reader ‘L. Gee’. It’s probably from an old email chain letter, and it’s all tongue and cheek, but the words contained seem to encapsulate some of the unspoken feelings toward immigrant citizens: Take down the Bird Feeder! I bought ...
Humour: a Canadian citizenship interview
For those readers who can speak a bit of Cantonese… you will “understand” this “interview”! An immigrant from China is applying for citizenship in Canada. He is to be interviewed by a Canadian immigration officer. He does not speak English well and knows nothing about Canada. Therefore, he invited a special translator to help him in ...
Asian Godfather speaks out on Death Threats to UCLA bimbo
The Shiggy Strikes again! Another witty response to that racist UCLA girl’s Youtube video!
DDouble Ttalk with Paraprosdokian sentences
… “If I could say a few words, I’d be a better public speaker.” —Homer Simpson We’ve always loved the magic of language on our blog. It’s something many of our word challenged Chinese-Canadian flavoured politicians should figure out. The choice of words, the ability to create new meaning by shuffling words and sentences around… and the innocence of spelling ...
Understand the question before answering
WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS? A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, ‘Say Father, what causes arthritis?’ The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of ...
UBC’s Way Too Asian, Macleans
Thanks to our friends at UBC… Here’s a music video response to Maclean Magazine’s Too Asian article of last November (our original post here). UBC’s Way Too Asian, Macleans . There’s one thing we don’t get… why’s our friend Shiggy always half naked!? (yeah, but we love it Shiggy!) Too Asian? NOT!
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